Hilarious Jokes That Are NSFW

We all love an inappropriate joke, but there’s a time and place for everything and perhaps the office isn’t the place to tell that hilarious but rude story that you read online the other day! Still, as long as you aren’t planning to share these jokes with your work colleagues, here are some of the best that are sure to keep you laughing, although it might be for all the wrong reasons!

The Cheeseburger Truck

A man walks up to a food truck to take a look at the menu. He sees a sign that says “fries, $3, cheeseburgers $5 and hand jobs $10. He speaks to the pretty girl behind the counter and asks if she’s the one who does the hand jobs. She replies “yes” in a seductive manner. He responds “well, make sure you wash your hands then when you serve my cheeseburger!”

Who’s The Daddy?

A man confronts his wife, saying that he’s noticed that one of his seven children looks different to the others. He asks if he has a different dad to his siblings. The wife admits that he does. The husband asks who the father is, and his wife replies “you are!”

15 Kids Called Eddy

A woman is eating in restaurant with her 15 children. The kids are all messing around so she shouts “Eddy, stop that or you’re in trouble”. To the waitress’ surprise, all 15 of the children sit down suddenly. “Are all your boys called Eddy?” The waitress asks. The woman says yes, so the waitress asks what she does if she only wants to talk to one of her sons. The woman replies “I call them by their last name!”

The Nude Beach

How do you identify a blind guy on a nudist beach? It isn’t hard!

Mixing DNA

What do you get if you mix goat DNA with human DNA? Thrown out of the petting zoo!

The Gates Of Heaven

Three men die and go to Heaven. St Peter is there at the gates and he tells them that the kind of car they’ll drive through the gates will depend on how faithful they were to their wives. The first guy says he was married for ten years and cheated three times.

St Peter gives him an old pick-up truck. The second guy says he only cheated once in 15 years of marriage, so St Peter presents him with a sports car. The third man says proudly that he was married for forty years and never cheated once on his wife.

St Peter is impressed and gives him a Golden Edition Rolls-Royce. The guys start driving over the bridge but when they get halfway, the guy in the Rolls stops and starts to cry. The other two guys pull over and ask what’s the matter, after all, being dead can’t be that bad if he gets to drive such as flashy car. The third guy replies “no, you don’t understand – I just watched my wife going past on a skateboard!”

These are just some of the funniest jokes you might not want to spread around your workplace this week! Enjoy!